I want to ki_ _ you.

要領が悪い人も、自分に自信がない人も男女共にきらい。両方とも努力を怠ってる証拠だから。

だけど、嫌い嫌いって言って受け入れられない自分の器の小ささも嫌い。

別に誰からも好かれたいだなんて思わないけど、誰からも綺麗とかセクシーと思われる人間にはなりたいの。まだほど遠いけど。

Friends around me started feeling down.
I love them so I try to listen to them and encourage them. But you know I'm so fuckin tired. You can see it in my face, I had a fever which caused me to get this ugly herpes on my face. You know I love my face and if small bad thing happen to it like spot, I feel disgusted. really annoyed. I even feel I don't wanna go out.

so it's like I don't wanna listen to them right now cuz I'm really tired. just leave me alone.

When it's chilly like this, I really miss Cali.
and it reminds me of you so much.
I just miss everything there even I got almost everything I want here in Japan.

I love this season cuz I can wear knit only like this.
ofc I love dress up like a lady, wearing high heels and sexy dress. But this not too much outfit can also make you look sexy.

ほらだから言ったじゃない。
ほっとくとどこか行っちゃうよって。

or are you sure I'm not leaving you even you don't see me for whole two weeks? You know anything can happen in only few weeks.